Looking Back and Looking Forward

Boy oh boy, what a year! Its been simulatenously wonderful and heartbreaking. We've had lots of ups and our fair share of downs. If I have taken one thing away from the past year, it is complete and total faith. More than once I mentioned how my home in Las Vegas was the most at home I had ever felt. And I wasn't lying. Yet, here I am living in Idaho waiting for the next part of our journey. We were convinced we were done having babies. Yet, here I sit with a baby in my belly. Both of these events took a huge amount of faith. Faith that I didn't know could be so hard and faith I didn't know I had. But even on a day to day basis, we lived on faith. The way we taught our kids, or got through a tough day. All boiled down to faith. What an amazing blessing to feel my life in my Fathers hands. 

Here are a few highlights from each month of the year.

JANUARY:

Scott and I went on a helicopter tour. 

Tayden and Beckett celebrated their 5th and 3rd birthdays.

FEBRUARY:

We enjoyed our first color run as a family.

MARCH:

Tayden started his first season of T-Ball.

Beckett started speech.

APRIL:

We had our first General Conference as a particpating family. Everyone sat through the sessions and stayed quiet and busy. 

MAY:

I enjoyed a Mothers Day Brunch with Tayden and his preschool. 

Scott and I won free tickets to see A Great Big World in a private vendor concert.

JUNE:

Scott started his new job at DRS.

We enjoyed national doughnut day at Krispie Kreme.

JULY:

Our annual summer Idaho vacation.

AUGUST:

I celebrated my 28th birthday.

Tayden started kindergarten.

SEPTEMBER:

Scott and I had our 8th anniversary.

We excepted the INL job.

OCTOBER:

Cache turned two.

We carved our first ever pumpkins.

The family learned the baby was a boy.

NOVEMBER:

We made the move to Idaho.

Tayden started Idaho Kindergarten.

DECEMBER:

Boys experienced their first real snow.

Cache learn to potty in the toilet. 

We had Christmas with family.

Its been a humble year. And I couldn't be happier about it. Looking back makes me realize how much I love Las Vegas and how badly I miss it. My heart hurts thinking about the life I am missing there. But I know, because of my faith, that things will be great here too. I am looking forward to our new adventure in 2015. Namely, this new baby and our move to Idaho Falls. I am grateful for this past year and the life we are so blessed with. 

Idaho Lifestyle

Idaho is providing the type of lifestyle I've wanted for my boys for a long time. They have space, are experiencing seasons and getting a chance to be outdoors. While the winter can be cold and miserable at times, the boys are enjoying themselves and love experiencing new things. So far we've enjoyed: 

PLAYING IN THE SNOW

The kids love playing in the snow. Almost more than anything. So when it finally snowed again on Christmas, they were more than happy. Luckily, they have a fun aunt that took them out so I didn't have to. 

SLEDDING

Scott's grandparents have a nice big backyard and are kind enough to let us come play whenever we'd like. Today, we took the boys out sledding behind the ranger. They had the time of their lives. Cache only made it a couple laps and then came to ride inside with Scott and I. He loved it and enjoyed driving with his dad. 

RABBIT HUNTING 

When I said boys, I wasn't just talking about my sons. My husband has had a blast hunting rabbits with his dad. When we were first married I didn't understand hunting. I was actually a pretty big brat about it and made going hard on him. But when we moved to Las Vegas and our marriage matured, I could tell how much he missed going. And oddly enough, I was sad my sons weren't growing up watching their dad hunt. I didn't know just how much I wanted that lifestyle for my kids. But now that we are back, Scott has been able to go a few times and he has loved it. And I love letting him go. 

Christmas Part Two

The kids sure enjoyed Christmas this year. We enjoyed the morning with my parents and the afternoon with Scott's. And it was snowing. It could not have been more perfect. Plus, mom and dad rocked the gifts this year. They are loving their cameras, remote control cars and nerf guns. True to form, I snapped a few pictures and then enjoyed the rest of the day. 

Christmas Part One

This Christmas was great. Different, but great. I missed being in my own home doing our own things and missed spending the season with our Las Vegas family. But spending the holiday with our families was priceless. It was fun to share this special day with those we love. Though we missed a few. 

I didn't spend as much time as I would have liked focusing on the savior this year. I found excuses such as not being in our own space or having our own things. Keeping up with life these days is exhausting and I told myself I was too tired. One way or another I didn't do as much as I should have and feel like I lost out on some great teaching opportunities or family learning moments. 

However, I'm grateful that my kids know of Jesus Christ. I'm grateful they have a pure love for him that only children seem to possess. And I'm grateful that even though I didn't teach them as I should have, they still taught me. 

I learned about his love though the big brotherly kindness of Tayden. I learned about joy through the unbridled passions of Beckett. Cache teaches never ending forgiveness and humility. And the baby boy I carry teaches me everyday of the miracle of life. 

I know they can be crazy and don't listen as well as we'd like. There are days the prospect of raising four boys scares me to death. But they are good. They are full of the goodness that God created them with and are my greatest examples. I love them so much it hurts. 

I am grateful that this time of year always makes me reflect on the good that surrounds me. I look at Scott in awe. What a wonderful man I married. My love runs deep for him and in many ways I wonder how I lived without him. He completes the parts of me I didn't know we're missing. I look at the boys and thank my lucky stars I get to be their mom. I feel the love of my parents for letting us stay with them while we're in limbo. I see the kindness of strangers reaching out to those in need. I think of the Savior and his humble start. His sacrifice for me. I admire Mary for everything she endured to bring her son and my brother into this earth. It's hard not to be grateful. 

I am thankful for the holidays and the sweet reminder they are to us. I hope I can keep that sweet spirit with me through out the year. 

Beckett lately

Beckett comes up with from pretty funny stuff. Lately, I am seeing the change from three years old to an almost four year old. And it's so fun. Here are some most recents that I never want to forget. 

Whenever I do something he likes, such as cuddling or giving him an extra piece of candy he tells me, "Mom, I love you clear to outer space!" 

On the flip side whenever I make him mad he says, "You're always so mean to me. You never let me have any fun. Ever ever never." 

He is becoming quite the story teller. He told me about sloths being nocturnal the other day. I asked him how he knew that and he said, "I saw them last week when I was looking out my window during the night time." 

We bought him some new shoes and he was excited to check out how fast they were. He ran down the hall as fast as he could, biffed it and exclaimed, "Woah! These new shoes are way too fast." 

If he falls or gets stuck or something similar his key phrase is always, "Uh. A little help here." 

He uses Christmas as a measure of time. So he says, "I'm going to do (fill I'm blank) clear to Christmas." 

I love Beckett more than you can imagine. He is a the light of my life and holds an extremely special place in my heart. I love watching him grow. 

Gingerbread houses

One really great thing about being home this Christmas is decorating gingerbread houses with my mother and sister in laws. Cheryl taught me how to do it from the very beginning. We made and baked the gingerbread, cut out the shapes and glued them together. I loved it, but loved decorating it the best. I won't have any girls to pass this tradition on to, but I'll have plenty of daughter in laws in share it with. And I think it's pretty special that my MIL taught me and some day I can pass on an 'in-law' tradition. 

Tayden also made one in kindergarten today. He was super proud of it. And so am I. 

Love it! 

Situation

Lots of people have been asking about our situation. Specifically, our living situation. Here it is. 

We're with my parents. It's not ideal. For anyone. It's not ideal for my previously empty nester parents, who have moved downstairs and given us two of their rooms upstairs. It's not ideal for my kids who have lost a toy room. It's not ideal for Scott and I who have committed to a new level of humility. But you know what, it could be worse. And better than that, it's actually working quite well. My parents have been unbelievably patient and understanding. The kids love being around grandma and grandpa. This is basically their second home, so there was zero adjustment period for them. Beside sleeping. But we're getting there. It's actually been quite wonderful. 

Scott and I always took pride in not having to move back home with mom and dad. And while we aren't here because of financial difficulties, it was still a hard thing to decide to do. But, having a school age kid changes everything. We didn't have time to come up and find a place in Idaho Falls before the move. And I didn't want to come up and stay with my parents for a few weeks until we found a place and have Tayden moving schools from vegas, to chubbuck, to Idaho Falls. I know kids are resilient, but three different schools during kindergarten is a little much if you ask me. So we asked my parents if we could stay with them until the end of the school year and they were kind enough to agree. It was the best decision we could make for our family, namely Tayden, and I'm so grateful that it was even an option. 

During this process, I have found a new gratitude for family. I've always been grateful for family, but it's a whole lot deeper now. I'm grateful my parents opened their doors to us and I'm grateful they love my kids so much. I'm thankful we have family to turn to when we're in limbo and that the said family is willing to welcome us with open arms. I'm glad to have such a great relationship with my parents that I felt comfortable asking them for help. 

So, we'll be here until the end of the school year and then the plan is to buy a home in Idaho Falls over the summer. And hopefully, this is permanent. But as we have learned over tha past few weeks, The Lord is I'm control. And we will go where he asks us to. 

We have felt such a strong confirmation that moving to Idaho was the right decision. I'm indebted to my parents for helping us make our dream to get closer to home a reality. Good things are happening and I'm excited for our future here.