New Firsts

As Tayden is growing up, I am realizing there are a whole slew of firsts that I never considered. I always just think of the classic firsts such as crawling, talking, eating solid foods, walking, laughing, etc. I never knew a second set of firsts existed. I call it the big kid firsts. We hit these big kid firsts this weekend and the reality of my growing boy struck my heart. 

1. He had his first primary talk. The theme was, "I am a child of God and He has a plan for me." We talked about it all week and decided his plan was to be a good big brother. He drew a picture to show everyone.

He is the tall blue guy. Beckett is the mad green guy. And Cache is the little brown man with awesome hair. I was so impressed with his talk. I could tell he was a little nervous, but this boy always does what he is supposed to. He is brave. He marched right up to the pulpit and did it with only a little help. And he only snuck in one little part about not letting the bad guys in his house. His talk went as follows, "Hi, my name is Tayden. I am a child of God and he has a plan for me. I am a good big brother and don't let bad guys in the house to get me. I share my toys with Beckett and sing songs to my baby Cache. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

2. The doctor. He's been the doctor before, obviously, but this was the first time he handled the exam on his own while I waited in the chair. He didn't sit on my lap, he answered the doctors questions and followed instructions without me coaxing him.

And speaking of doctor...both he and Beckett got their check ups. I am outrageously annoyed that I can't find the paperwork with their exact numbers, but

Tayden at four years: weights 37 lbs and is in 75th% for weight and height.

Beckett at two years: is 32 lbs and is also 75% for weight and height

3. Tayden had his first trip to the dentist. I know we are a little behind, but because of scheduling, vacations and a switch in insurance, we are finally getting around to it. At first he was excited, until they had to do x-rays. That was hard. The things kept gagging him which he did not like one bit. He's little watery eyes pleaded for me to make them stop, but he was so brave and stuck with it. I couldn't help but well up with pride. After the x-rays, the dentist came it. Tayden loved that he had on Avengers scrubs. He did great with the dentist, but has a defective molar that is going to require a cap. That's not going to be fun, but we will cross that bridge when we get there.

I can't help but be amazed everyday. We are entering a whole new chapter of life with him and it is so exciting to see it unfold.

Tayden is Four

Wow! Tayden is four! I can't believe it. I feel like there is a big jump between three and four and it is blowing my mind. I have a four year old. Where did the time go?

Tayden had a great birthday. We had a small birthday party with his closest friends at a fun place called Pump It Up. He was allowed to choose four friends, which was a super hard thing for him  (and me) to do. All of our closest friends have children that Tayden knows and loves and adores, but are a bit younger than he is. Last year we had a party with all of them and I felt like it was as much for me as it was for him, since we invited all my friends with kids. But, as he is getting older, I think its important to scale back a little and have more of a quality party rather than quantity party. Anyway...he had a blast. I only snapped a few pictures since Scott and I were too busy playing ourselves.

Two of Taydens best buddies. Dane and Caleb. Love that these boys have such a great friendship.

We ended the night with a spontaneous pizza party with our friends the Turneys. It was nice to have friends to help celebrate Taydens birthday and made it much more special. We are blessed to be surrounded by great people. Cupcakes came after pizza and again, I need to explain myself. As I mentioned before, the children were being hoodlums at the store and I was fed up. Tayden really wanted Captain America cupcakes, but we could find the 'perfect stuff' anywhere. Just as we were walking out the door empty handed, he grabbed a pack of dollar snakes and said, "I know!! I'll have a snake cake!" And that was it--he wanted a snake cake and nothing was going to change his mind. So, my second ghetto cupcake cake of the week....

(Its supposed to be grass and dirt. Haha)
He was happy with it though and that is all that matters.

Tayden is fantastic. He loves all things superhero and ninja. He is the busiest little boy and is constantly jumping off things, practicing his tricks or running around. Tayden loves his little brothers and is an amazing friend to them. He gets annoyed sometimes with B, but it never lasts long. He is really starting to enjoy drawing and writing his letters and has taken a huge interest in learning. He is very mindful of other people and what they should be doing...AKA bossy. He likes everything in order and is so quick to please. Taydens sense of humor leaves me speechless. I laugh at him at least 20 times a day and the shenanigans he comes up with. He would still rather eat veggies over fruit, unless its an apple. And, boy or boy have his sleep problems turned around. Bedtime is a breeze and he sleeps through the night every night. Its such a nice change. He is my biggest helper and I'm not sure I would survive without him. I love this boy more and more each day and I thank my lucky stars for him.

Happy Birthday, Tayden,
I love you 50 times.

Big Boy Beckett

Today was a big day. Today Beckett graduated from Baby Beckett to Big Boy Beckett. He turned two. Honestly, in my head this kid has been two for a long time--so it wasn't too hard for my to wrap my head around. He was a little confused as to what his birthday really was all about, but Tayden and I told him Happy Birthday all day and he just laughed and smiled.

It wasn't until his cake came out that he really appreciated his special day. I love this picture. He was so excited over his cake, no matter how ghetto it was. Allow me to explain.

I asked B what kind of cake he wanted. His reply was a 'blue neigh neigh' cake. Blue horse cake...awesome. I found a cute idea online for some horse cake toppers, but they didn't have any at the store. They didn't even have blue cupcake holders. Lame. After going to a few stores and fighting some cranky kids, I called it quits. He would have to be happy with blue sprinkles and frosting. However, as I was frosting the cupcakes today, I felt a little sad for him. I really wanted to incorporate the horses that he love so much. Luckily, he got a horse set for Christmas and I put it to use. With a few toy horses and some tupperware stands, I came up with a masterpiece. And he couldn't have been more thrilled.

And after seeing this genuine Beckett smile--I knew I made the right decision.

Beckett is such an important part of our family. He is still trying to find his place as the middle child, but is really starting to embrace his role as big brother. He loves Cache and is the first to offer kind words or a song when baby is upset. He loves his big brother with a passion. He idolizes Tayden and copies every little thing T does. However, he doesn't take any guff from him. He stands his ground and will not be pushed around. Beckett is also quite the trouble maker. He always is stealing things when people aren't looking-- mostly Taydens food and toys. And boy oh boy, does this kid know how to throw a tantrum. If things don't go his way, watch out. He screams, cries, kicks, blah blah blah. Terrible twos are in fact going to be terrible. Beck is really catching on to this talking business. We are pretty much at 100% communication. He can string together 4-5 words and is saying new words everyday. He loves to have 'alot' of everything and is obsessed with carrying things around...mainly kitchen utensils. He is funny, like super funny, passionate and extremely loving and caring. And lets not forget his sweet kisses and big squeezey hugs. He is just the best. I am completely and totally in love with this kid. 

Happy Birthday Beckett. We love you more than you can imagine. 

Sunbeams

Because we got stuck in Idaho, today was Taydens first full day of Sunbeams. We have been talking to him about it all week and he was excited and ready to go this afternoon. I swear, this kid refuses to take a normal picture! But we were in a hurry, so I took what I could get. It is what it is. 

 And of course, Beckett wanted in on the action. 

 I watched him through the window during singing time and my heart swelled with pride. I can not believe he is old enough to be in Primary! It seems like yesterday I found out I was pregnant with him and now he is almost four. Where does the time go? 

Tayden loved the whole primary experience. He loved singing time and was super happy when they sang "I am a Child of God" and "I Love to See the Temple", two of his favorites. He is also excited to be learning new songs. He learned about prayer during class and made a cute little puppet, but he was pretty upset he didn't even get one snack. And, he has a talk next week. What? Seriously, this can not be happening to me. I'll probably lose it next week watching him up at the little pulpit. It is such an amazing experience to watch your children grow up. Its painful and beautiful all at once. I love Tayden so much. He'll make such a fantastic sunbeam! 

I'm back.

After a long one month vacation to Idaho, the kids and I are finally back in Las Vegas. We had planned on coming home last week, but due to a crazy snow storm decided to stay in Idaho a week longer. Scott flew in on Thursday to drive home with us. I am sure grateful for his willingness to help. It made the drive home much easier and much less stressful. 

Bragging moment. My kids did phenomenal. Seriously, they did great. I made them sit bored for awhile. I am one of those parents who thinks there is value in just sitting and learning to cope with boredom. We made it there and back with just a few snacks, a shoe lace AKA lasso, some stickers and tons of stories from Mom...and one or two from Dad. Cache did very well considering how much he hates the car seat. He only cried about the last hour of the trip back to Vegas.

We stopped in Cedar City last night and grabbed a hotel. We got pizza and went swimming and mostly just enjoyed hanging out as a reunited family. Its been really great being together again.

I'm a little disappointed in my lack of blogging while I was there, but sometimes its just more fun to live life than to blog about it. I was able to spend lots of time with family, see some old friends and managed to grab a few minutes to relax. It was a wonderful trip.

Lots to look forward to this week. Tayden gets to go to his first day of primary tomorrow, Beckett moves to the big kid nursery, both of them have birthdays, Scott works his first ever graveyard shift (not really looking forward to that) and B gets to start potty training soon. 

I'm glad I'll be busy this week. It helps me cope with getting back to the real world. 

Pictures to come soon.

Promise.

Resolutions

We're still in Idaho having a blast and soaking up the last days of family fun. I have a few pictuers and stories from the last few days, but we'll save that for later. Last week, my high school best friends dad died. It was completely unexpeted and totally heart wrenching. I was blessed to be here when it happened and was able to attend the funeral. At the funeral, I was reminded of the purpose of mortality and heard again advice that I so badly need. 

The bishop retold President Uchtdorf's 2013 new year goals for us. Third on his list is this, "Find happiness no matter your situation." After being filled with the spirit during the funeral, my heart was open and ready to receive this advice. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I've been searching for happiness for a couple of months. I've been happy. I've laughed and I've smiled and had fun. But the true deep down happiness, contentment, feeling of security and complete joy have eluded me. I've found things to blame it on. Las Vegas, Scotts schedule, lack of family in the area, loneliness, feeling like a single mom, fear, postpartum hormones, crazy boys with way too much energy, etc. But at the end of the day, I know it boils down to one thing--my attitude. 

If this sounds repetitive, its because it is. I've been struggling with this now for a couple of months and its been the hardest trial for me to shake. Its an easy thing to say, but is proving to be a personal challenge. I have plenty of friends/ family who have moved away and didn't bother them in the least bit. But this my vice, my cryptonite. That is why I am making it my new year goal. I will find happiness in my current situation, no matter how lonely, tiring or depressing it may seem. This year I am going to make my weakness my strength and learn to find complete and total joy in my situation. 

As I spent the day with my closest cousins, we were talking about our husbands job. All their husbands have been blessed with great jobs in the area and have allowed them to stay close to home and family. I found myself getting choked up with jealousy. I didn't understand why the Lord didn't bless me with the same thing. With the one thing I want the most. But then, after a few minutes of contemplation, I realized he blessed me with the things I need... not want. I need to build that unshakable relationship with my husband and being in Las Vegas has allowed me to do that. I need to to gain self confidence as a wife and mother and being gone has given that to me. I need to rely on the Lord in a way I have never had to and I am slowly learning to do that. I know there are many more blessings in store as we are away and they will unfold as I open my heart to receive them. 

I'm grateful for this renewal of spirits. I was really dreading going home. Honestly, the only thing I was looking forward to besides my husband was my friends. I have the worlds greatest friends in Las Vegas and I owe so much of my sanity to them. But, I am recharged and ready to go. I am ready to face this challenge full force and rediscover the joy I once had. I have gone through the motions of this before, but now for the first time--I truly truly want it. I want to find inner peace. This doesn't mean I am going to give up on my goal of coming home one day, but I am going to be happy while I wait. I still have things to learn and to experience and if I refuse to be happy I am shutting out those opportunities that Heavenly Father has in store for me. 

So, there it is. My 2013 goal for the world to see. 

That and drinking more water...just cause its healthy! 

2013 is going to be a good year!

And here we have Idaho...

The last 10 days in Idaho have been fantastic. Pure bliss. Its been great to be back home and around family. 

I made sure to bring my camera, but didn't double check to make sure I had an SD card. So, my camera has been tucked away, but I've taken a few random pictures with my phone. 

Have I mentioned how much I love this face? He has been such a joy this trip. He is the happiest little man and so chill. I could kiss his little face all day long.

Late night Rummikub gets a little out of hand.

 We always take Tan Tan with us on trips. And he refused to ride anywhere but on my lap. 

My sister got the boys Spiderman outfits. Tayden insisted on laying the costume by his bed as he slept. At one point, he even gave the costume a blanket...until he got cold and needed it back. 

 Ironman mask, spiderman glove and an army gun. There is nothing this boy can't handle. Tayden has absolutely loved playing with his Grandparents and aunts and uncles. Doesn't get better. 

This is the only aspect of Idaho I don't miss. As we speak, its -9 outside. 

 This boy finds his reflection rather entertaining. 

 Scott and I were able to go on two different dates before he went back to Vegas. We went to Les Miserables, which was phenomenal, and then a lunch trip at Texas Roadhouse in Idaho Falls. We had to take Cache along, but it was great to be able to have a one on one conversation with my husband. I love him so much. More than words. 

Story behind the picture. Scott has never ever made me walk in snow. He always made sure that the walks were shoveled before he went to work/school. The day after he left, it snowed and snowed and snowed. And guess who got to go shovel? Yours truly. First time I've ever shoveled. Yes, spoiled I know.

Don't let this sweet little face fool you. Beckett has been a monster! He had a rough few days. And I mean rough! Non stop crying, tantrums and flat out acting horrendous. My mom asked if he was possibly teething, so I checked...sure enough. A mouth full of 4 new 2 year old molars coming in. I felt awful. He was driving me crazy and in turn I was being less than patient. As soon as we figured out what his deal was and treated him with Tylenol-- it was a complete 180. He is still battling the terrible twos, but I can deal with that. 

Beckett has also taken a huge leap in the talking department. He is starting to string words together, form small sentences and express most of his needs. Its been so great and so much fun. He gives me a run for my money, but this little boy steals my heart on a daily basis. He loves to give big hugs and tells me he loves me constantly. I can't get enough of my little monster.

Idaho has been great and I am excited to spend 10 more days in the 208.