Remember back in jr. high/high school when your English teacher assigned you to free write? To basically write what you are thoughts as they come, no punctuation, no order, no structure. That is what this post is going to be... so I will not be offended if you choose not to read. For those of you that you do, enjoy a peak into my chaotic thoughts.
Pregnancy. Oh, sweet pregnancy. To tell you the truth, I am struggling with this go around. I am struggling with the hormones, with the zits, with the weight. Especially with the weight. I know that its my second pregnancy and I am supposed to show sooner, get bigger, blah blah blah. But lets be honest, it doesn't make it any easier. I feel huge 100% of the time. I feel like I look like I am 7 months pregnant not 4 1/2. However, with that said, let me tell you what I know. I know I FEEL huge, but I know more than anything how blessed I am. I know this feeling won't last forever, but our sweet little baby will. Stephnie Nielson from the NieNie Dialogues said, "I am not my body". How true is that. I am so much more. I am determined to not let my body get in my way of enjoying every minute of this miracle. I love being pregnant. I love feeling the baby move. I lay in bed at night, when s/he is most active...and fall in love again and again. I love dreaming about my sweet little baby and thinking of s/he growing up so close with Tayden. I love how my perspective turns eternal. How the important things change and I see life for what it really is. I love how Scott prays for the baby every night. Speaking of Scott, have I mentioned how great he is? He is the greatest thing in my life. Truly, my best friend. I didn't think I would ever love him more than I did when we were first married. But it grows everyday. It is a deep, pure love. I can't wait to share all the adventures life has with him. One adventure being raising two kids. Wow, that sounds weird. I can't believe I am going to have two kids. Weird. I love being a mom. Its hard. It can being really trying. But oh so rewarding. I'm more nervous to raise a two year old than to have a new born again. We get to find out what we are having on Wednesday. I can't wait. Scott and I are thinking girl, but would be extremely happy with a little boy. It would be easier to have a boy since we already have everything we need. But a little girl...ah, I would love a little girl. We will see what the Lord has in store for us. And I can't wait to see what the plan is. We officially listed the home with a realtor on Monday. It showed yesterday, which is awesome, but the couple was looking for a rental property and apparently ours was too nice. I guess they want to rent out a semi crappy place. Huh? But, it sounds like we are going to be showing it to another couple next week, so we will see how it goes. Then there is school. We only have a few more months to make it. Scott is taking 19 credits! We are jobless once again and living on savings. How blessed we are to have it. And how much more blessed are we that it has lasted so long. I can't wait to see where life is going to take us when he graduates. Another thing I know, no matter what happens, with the baby, the house, the job, our life it general, whatever....will all be perfect because its the Lords plan. And because it is his plan, makes it perfect. I am a firm believer that the Lord is on our side and going to lead us in the right direction. Our job is to have faith. My sister-in-laws dad gave her some advice that I think is spot on. He said life is like riding a tandem bike. The Lord is in the front seat steering and our job is to take the back seat and pedal. We have to have the faith that he is taking us in the right direction we have to do the work he is asking us to do. Life can sure be crazy, but I so happy with where we are. Well, that's it. Looks like my thoughts have run out. Hopefully, I have something fun to blog about in the next few days. If not, Wednesday I will have some good news to share with everyone. Stay tuned.