Thursday Night Lights

I couldn’t pass up taking some pictures under the big lights at Caches flag football game. 

Dear Boys

Dear Boys-

I hope as you look back on your childhood you remember all the good and all the fun. I hope you remember a mom that was fun and gave way too many hugs. I hope you realize the hours or worry on your behalf. I hope you look back on your childhood with fondness.

Its feels the days are speeding up. You are growing right before my eyes and your youth is slipping through my fingers. I love this stage of life. I'm terrified for you to grow any more, but I can't wait to see your future.

There are pieces of this stage that need to be documented.

Like, how we are constantly running around to football. Tayden has 3 practices a week, Beckett and Cache both have one. We have 3 games on Saturdays and now have added two games during the week. It feels like we are always on the go. But my favorite part of all of it, is watching you support each other. You go to all the games, cheer for your brothers and greet them with high fives and hugs and the end of the games. You truly are each others biggest fans.

As painful as it is, I want to remember bedtime. It seems like life falls apart at the seams every night around 8:00 as we begin brushing teeth. Chaos ensues and for the next 20-30 minutes I loose my mind. But I always find it around 8:30 as hugs are given and Cache calls me in his room to tuck him in, close his closet and say a prayer. I can count on that every single night.

I want to freeze in my mind you guys getting off the bus together. I love watching the three of you getting off, laughing and walking together.

I hope we all remember how hard we tried to incorporate the Savior into our lives. Admittedly, we could do better. We say nightly prayers, do lessons on Sunday and make sure each seven year old reads the Book of Mormon before their baptism. However, my favorite is including Him in our everyday lives. In something that isn't on a check list. Like when we loose something and your thoughts turn to prayer. Or when Kyle explained to his non member friend in his sweet childlike manner who Jesus Christ was and it was okay that he had long hair and he still loved him. Or when I hear stories from school about you doing the right thing. Perhaps my favorite thing of all, it watching you make decisions on your own. No matter how hard they are, you fight for the right. 

I also pray you remember parents who love each other. Sure, Dad and I have our hard days. And have said more than our fair share of harsh words to each other. Regrettably, some of those have been in front of you. But more than that, we love each other. I hope you remember us laughing and playing together. I hope the images of us holding hands, sitting together, laughing at the dinner table, going on walks and date nights and working side by side stay with you forever. I hope we have given you a healthy idea of love and marriage. 

I want to remember my days with Kyle. He's my last baby at home while all the others are at school. We play and play and play. Anytime I suggest something such as playing playdough or guys he says, "But it would be so much better with you Mom!" So, I play. I don't get much done these days, but there will be time for that later. The other day I asked him for help and he pointed in the opposite direction while yelling he said, "Look Mom, a chicken!" As I looked, he ran away. I laughed and laughed at his cute little antics.

Cache is my foodie and gardening buddy. He loves to tend to the garden with me and loves to try the food that comes out of it. Its fun to have a child to share a bowl of tomato soup with. Most recently our cantaloupe finally started to grow. Cache was cheering and yelling and telling everyone that would listen. He checks on it every day and make sure that its safe and sound. He has a friend with some physical disabilities. They have been friends for the past four years, but Cache is really started to notice his differences lately. Cache has watched him grow and succeed and is more proud of him than anyone. He often tells people, "Did you see Owen do that? It was so awesome!" I'm happy that he is excepting by nature and loves people for exactly who they are. 

I hope Beckett always remember his sweet love for his momma. He loves me fiercely and its the best. I always know I have someone in my corner cheering me on. He still struggles with his temper, but he never ever holds a grudge. He gets mad and yells, but always always apologizes with a hug and a kiss. I hope he remembers our sweet relationship and for every ounce he loves me, I love him twice as much!

Tayden is at a wonderful stage. At least for me. Scott and him seem to butt heads more often than not, but that is because they are the same person in two separate bodies. Tayden is more like his father than any of our other children. I love when he comes home and sits on my bed with me and tells me about his day. Tayden and I have a very strong and open relationship. He trusts me with everything and tells me what is in his heart. I hope that I can continue to cultivate this relationship and he will always know that I am here for him. No matter what. 

For the past 10 years, I have kind of clumped my boys together. Its hard having them all so close in age and remembering they are individuals. So I have been working to see them for their own person and treating them as such. Its been a blessing to watch them in their own respects. I love this stage of life. I feel so blessed. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such a good life. Whatever it was, I'm sure grateful. 

Last Preschool

Being the youngest is a double edge sword. On one hand, you gets loads of attention and most things go your way. On the other, important things happen and moms forget to blog about it. The latter is true for Kyle. He started his first day of preschool last week!! He is absolutely loving it. He is such a brave little guy. The first day I dropped him off he nervously walked to the group of kids and sat down. Then as I drove away, I watched him bravely talk to the other kids. I was so proud. My eyes unexpectedly welled up with tears as I drove home.

My lovely friend, Jodie, said it best ... (I changed the names to my children)

Our days are slipping away too quickly. Tayden suddenly looks like a teenager, Cache can run around the neighborhood all day without even considering checking in at home, and Kyle asks every day, “Mom, am I big yet?”. After months of excitedly anticipating all four kids at school and two hours free time to myself three times a week, it turns out it feels a little lonely. I got a lot done and nobody interrupted my cleaning spree and I sang at the top of my lungs to the songs of my own choosing, but my kids were off in their own worlds that I’m not a part of. And that’s a strange feeling. So today when Kyle asked if I would play legos, it was the easiest “yes” I’ve said in a long time.

Home Away From Home

We did a thing. We did a BIG thing. We bought a piece of property! We are officially co-owners of an acre in Ashton at Arcadia Lake. Scott and I have always wanted to give our boys a certain lifestyle. One with opportunities to hunt and fish, be outside to connect with nature and unplug from the rigors of everyday life. We wanted a place for them to slow down, breathe easy and make memories to last a lifetime. Luckily, we have friends with the same dreams and ambitions. So we pooled our time, effort and resources to provide these kind of conveniences for our herd of boys. Its going to take an immense amount of character building work to finish the land and make it a place of sanctuary for our family. But after this weekend, its already taking shape! The boys, both old and young, worked so incredibly hard the past three days and put a major dent in the land. Its actually starting to look like a campground!

We made sure there was room for fun too. Of course there was kayaking! We threw in a couple of four wheeling rides and games of corn hole, plus some night games for the kids. It doesn't get better. 

 We learned our lesson with Luna and got her shaved. Though she loves rolling and getting dirty, it was a thousand times more manageable. She loved the lake and hunting the squirrels. We would find her sitting in the bushes for long periods of time.

We love the Snarr family are so excited to share this adventure with them. I can't wait to watch my boys work this land and be able to look back in a couple of years with a tremendous sense of accomplishment and relish in the rewards of hard work.

(Back Row: Scott and Stacey Packard. Natalee and Adam Snarr. Front Row: Tayden, Beckett, Cache and Kyle Packard. Brody, Camron and Austin Snarr.) 

I just feel so blessed.