See ya Later, Tanner

 Last week was a hard one. Unbelievably, gut-wrenching hard. We decided to put Tanner down. He was 16 years old and going downhill fast. He was having accidents in the house, throwing up almost daily, having a hard time standing on the tile floor, and couldn't go down the stairs outside. He could barely hear, couldn't see well, and got confused at times. Scott and I made the tough decision to put him down. 

I cried the whole day we made the decision. Every time I looked at him, thought about him, or life without him, I fell apart. It was hard, but not nearly as hard as telling the boys. They lost it. They sobbed and sobbed. We let them process it for the evening and sleep in the next morning. The late start morning was very helpful. The kids had come to terms with the death of Tanner and were able to say their goodbyes before school. 

Beckett was upset with me that I didn't let him go with us to the euthanization. I knew he was mad, but I am so glad he wasn't there. It was really rough. The vet agreed with us that it was time. Tanner's heart was weak, he was dehydrated, and he didn't have much fight left in him. After trying to find a vein in the front two legs, they finally got one in his back leg. 

The actual euthanization was okay. He was calm and peaceful as he passed away, with Scott and I petting him and talking to him. The vet left us in the room for a couple of quiet minutes and we cried together. Tanner was the first thing we ever loved together, and letting him go was not easy. Even though we know we made the right decision, that didn't make letting him go any easier. 

I'm grateful for the 16 years he gave us. He taught us love and patience. He was a good dog that was almost always up for a cuddle. He had silly little quicks that made us laugh and some that drove us crazy, like eating toilet paper. We'll never forget this sweet boy and we'll love him forever.