Learning to thrive

I've been thinking lately.

Moving into this new home has given me the opportunity to start new. Everything (almost) is organized just they way I like it. Its fresh. Its clean. It's like a new slate and I can wipe away all my bad old habits. 

As I thought about the temporal changes I was making, I thought about the spiritual and personal changes I needed to make. For the past two years I have been surviving day to day. Just doing the bare minimum to get by. I was getting lazy and it was affecting my attitude. Some days being a mother felt like a chore, not a blessing. It was easy to stay in my PJ's and let the house go. I was making excuses about not cooking dinner because Scott wasn't home to enjoy it. I was lonely, angry, and waiting for the day to go home. 

But now, I know. I am home. Having this house has changed everything for me. Its given me a sense of purpose, reason, peace and more importantly a sense of home. Now that I know in my heart I am home--I'm not afraid to let myself find comfort in Las Vegas. I never wanted to plant myself too deep here for fear that leaving would hurt too bad. I have met the most amazing people here and in a way was trying to protect myself from heartache. As cliche as it sounds. I'm more excited then ever to dive into Las Vegas and make it my home without any reservations. I'm ready to embrace this life.

So my goal everyday is too thrive. Not merely survive, but thrive. (I'm sure that would be a great catch phrase if I could find the right wording!) I wake up every morning, shower and get dressed--regardless if I am going anywhere or not. We make beds, read scriptures and start the day on the right foot. We listen to the mormon channel music all day and invite the spirit in our home. I find ways to keep the kids busy through out the day--I play with them. I enjoy them. We take a nightly walk and as a new part of bedtime we talk about the good things that happened during the day.

I'm not trying to sound self righteous or prove a point to anyone. Its just for the first time since we have moved to Las Vegas-- I feel like I can do it. I want to do right by my children. I have the energy and desire to make the most of my situation. I finally agree with the Lord that is where I am supposed to be. And I'm happy with it. I need to live up to the potential that he sees in me. Because I know he believes me. 

Now, if only I can remember this feeling of strength. I know there are rough days ahead. I know there are lazy mornings and days where I want to pull my hair out. But I hope to learn how to thrive in those situations as well. 

Its going to be a process and a learning experience for sure. But I'm excited for the change. And I'm proud of myself for taking this plunge.