Christmas was hard for me this year. Emotionally hard. My kids argued most days leading up to Christmas. Cache is working through some big feelings as he transitions from a little kid to a big kid. The anticipation was too much for Kyle and he showed his emotions through anger and tantrums. Tayden and Beckett were annoyed with their brothers and less than patient with them and each other. More than once I had to sit everyone down and remind them that we are family, God gave us each other and we need to be kind and respectful to each other.
The hardest part though, was how much I missed my little kids. I missed my babies. The boys are all growing so fast and I yearn for the days when I got to buy toys and break up fights about who was first in line. I missed the days of sugar cookies, and cuddles while we watched Christmas movies. I wanted so badly for my kids to be little. It was hard for me to focus on the good this year, which I hated, but that's real life.
Life is moving at a frightening speed. And while I love the stage we are in and there is so much good, I miss my babies and when life was simple and predictable. Living through those days, I thought they would never end. Now, I look back at them with so much fondness. Those days will always hold a special place in my heart.
The best thing I can do moving forward is learn from this year and appreciate and enjoy my kids now. Because I know in another 10 years, I'll be longing for these days. I don't have any regrets from when my kids were younger and I don't want to have any regrets when they are older. So I will spend time with my kids, enjoy them with they are around, and be the best mom I can be. Everyone always says time is a thief, and it is. But it's also a blessing and a privilege and that it what I want to focus on.
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