Week #2

Two weeks ago, I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of our new little man. I was overly excited to be done with the complications of the pregnancy. 

Little did I know the road that was ahead.

After 5 days in the NICU, multiple tests and a few obstacles, Cache was able to come home. We've had him home for 9 days now and its been utter bliss. His sweet spirit brings so much joy into our home. Thankfully, everything had resolved except his sacral dimple which required a second opinion. And today, on his two week birthday, he had his last ultrasound. 

We received a phone call this afternoon with the results of the spinal scan. Everything came back normal. Normal! I can barely believe it. Cache is completely in the clear. After hearing nothing but complications for the last 20+ weeks, its absolutely surreal. I can not even begin to explain how grateful I am for his health. When the doctor told me today that Caches spine was clean, I cried with joy. After this journey, I will never take my children's health for granted again. 

 We took our little man to the doctor yesterday for his circumcision and to get his tongue clipped (he was tongue tied at birth). Everything went great and he weighed in at 7 lbs 10 oz. That's 10 ounces in 6 days! He's an eating champ. 

I can't even describe how much I love this guy. 

I'm so happy to have him here.

Safe and sound.

And more importantly, healthy.

Sweet Lesson

During the last few weeks we have had multiple people bringing us dinner. We are so blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people who are so willing to serve. I thought this was a great learning opportunity for my boys so I talked with them about service and giving thanks for service. We decorated cookies to show our appreciation for those who helped. I think Tayden got the basic jist of it and I know he had fun doing it.

Beckett just had fun coloring the cookies and eating M&Ms.

The mess was definitely worth it.

And the cookies turned out so great.

It was a fun, sweet lesson.

Cache Update

Guess what this means?

Sweet baby Cache is home! 

We brought our sweet little baby boy home late Wednesday afternoon. We were really hoping to bring him home Tuesday, but his bellirubin levels had gone up and they wanted to keep him an extra day. So Wednesday morning, I called the hospital bright and early to check on him. I talked to his nurse who said his levels went up more, but everything else checked out okay. She wasn't sure if he'd be allowed to go home or not, but told me what to say to the doctor to negotiate his homecoming. I asked that they call me as soon as the doctor arrived so I could talk to her. They called about an hour later to tell me the doc was in. I threw my hair in a ponytail, put some jeans on and ran out the door. I was ready to fight for my baby. I was going to do whatever I could to get him home. I met with the doctor and to my surprise...she was letting him go. I didn't even have to put up an argument.

Upon discharge, there were a number of things we needed to address. His bowel and stomach issues had resolved and he was eating regularly, but we would still need to watch it to make sure things continued to work well. Testing for CMV was still pending, so we would cross that bridge when we got there. He had a grade 1 case of hypostadias (a condition with his pee pee), so he would need to get an ultrasound on his kidneys and see a urologist for further examination. His jaundice was also not concerning, but again...something else to watch. And last but not least, he has a sacral dimple--and they just wanted me to be aware of it. However, given his 1/22 chance for spina bifida, I requested an ultrasound to be done so we could know 100% that his spine and spinal cord were okay. They weren't planning on doing an ultrasound for it, but since we were already doing his kidneys, they made time to do his back as well. 

The ultrasounds and discharge exam were going to take a few hours, so I went home to get things ready. I bawled my eyes out on the way home, knowing this would be the last time I would have to leave him at the hospital. As soon as I got home, I went into cleaning overdrive. I cleaned and cleaned until they called and said we could come pick him up.

My mom and I loaded up the kids and we were off to the hospital to pick up little brother.

Scott had an overnight shift that day, so he wasn't able to be here when we brought him home. My mom, the kids and I took turns holding him and loving him the rest of the day. 

Yesterday morning the doctor called with results for the ultrasounds. First and foremost, his CMV came back negative. That was the best news! I was most worried about the CMV since the complications were the most extreme. But he is in the clear! I can not even begin to describe how relieved I am. Second, his kidneys are perfect. No complications. Wahoo. The ultrasound on his back showed normal spinal and spinal cord development. However, there was one questionable reading. It appeared that his tailbone tip was a little low. Its not a huge deal and more than likely is nothing, but could be an indication of an underlying problem or could cause unnessecary pain in the future. The doctor said it could just have been the positioning of Cache during the ultrasound, but we decided it would be best to have a specialist look at it. So, we were referred to the neurologist for a second ultrasound. 

We took him to his first doctor appointment today. He looks fantastic. He weighs 7 lbs even, which is amazing. He has gained 4 oz in the 48 hours he's been home. They weren't expecting him to be back to birth weight until he was at least 2 weeks old because of his NICU stay, and now he is only 2 oz shy. He's been eating like a champ. His hypostadias turned out to be nothing and now we can proceed with a normal circumcision and leave the urologist out of it. Again, hooray! 

Now, we are just enjoying having him home. He is the sweetest little boy and is doing great. He eats wonderfully and is sleeping like a champ. I got a solid 5 hours out of him last night between feedings. When he's awake, he's mostly content and his brothers just can't get enough of him. 

We are so blessed to have this dimpled little spirit in our home. After the complicated pregnancy and the longest 5 days of my life, I am happy to report that baby Cache is healthy. Healthy. Healthy. I could say it all day. I have been waiting to say those words for months. We are so blessed. I will never take the health of my children for granted again. And the thing is, everything that Cache faced was so minor in the grand scheme of things. Some babies are born so sick and face health challenges the rest of their lives. We are so blessed that this will not be the case for us.

I cannot begin to express my gratitude for Cache. Its so fun to have a newborn in the home again and feel is sweet presence around us. He is the perfect addition to our family and we could not be  any luckier.

Baby Cache

Our sweet baby Cache was born on Friday, October 12. 

Many of you have been asking for updates and have been wondering what is going on. Here is a raw version of the story. Sorry for lack of grammar and creative writing. I'm writing on the fly trying to get it out there. Here's our story. Well, a summary of our story. As much of a summary as this exhausted mama can give...

We went in for induction Friday morning. The hospital was in the middle of two deliveries, so we weren't able to get going right away. We got to our room around 8:00 and determined I was dilated to a four and got the pitocin going. At 11:00(ish) my water broke and at 2:26 Cache Thomas was born. A quick word on the actual delivery--it was painful! I didn't feel a thing with the other two, and even though I had an epidural I felt every minute with Cache. My doctor barely made in time for delivery, which lasted all of 4 minutes.    

We fell in love with this little boy instantly. He is just the sweetest thing you have ever met. 

Scott and I spent a few minutes with our newest little boy and admired his hair before the other two came. 

My mom had the boys while we were at the hospital and she said that she wasn't able to hold them off any longer. They were ready to come and see baby Cache. They fell in love with him instantly, too.

Things settled down and before I knew it, bedtime was upon us. Scott went home to put the kids to bed and I stayed with Cache at the hospital by myself. There wasn't much space for Scott and I wanted him home with the boys. Since there wasn't a nursery in our hospital,  I got to keep the baby with me all night. I was a little nervous, but Cache did fabulous. He slept like a champ and allowed me to sleep more than I anticipated. That is until things started getting bad.

 We couldn't get him to eat, so the nurse and I syringed fed him. At about 11:00 pm, he started fussing and just as I got up to help him, he threw up all over. It was not normal baby spit up. It was more like mucous. The nurse came in to take his vitals and he threw up again. She thought maybe it was just amniotic fluid and didn't seem to concerned. Maybe he got too much air with the syringe. So, we let things go. I woke him up around 3:30 am to eat again and he was refusing to eat. I thought maybe he was just tired. So I decided to let him sleep a little longer and try again later. I tried at 6:00 am and he finally ate. A felt like I had beat a small feat. 

The pediatrician came to check on him around 7:00 am and after hearing about his lack of eating, all the throwing up and feeling his belly, she wanted a second opinion. So she called the neonatal pediatrician. The neonatal came in and started examining him. As she did, he threw up all over her. She handed him back to me and he threw up again. So, he had thrown up 4 times and only really eaten twice. She ordered an X-ray to look at his belly and decide what step we needed to take next. The X-ray came back with abnormal results. There was alot of gas in his belly, more than a baby should have. So that, teamed with the complications of the pregnancy, she admitted him to the NICU. 

It had all happened so quickly, that I could barely wrap my head around it. Scott was able to give him a blessing before they took him in and I think it helped me more than it helped baby C. We wheeled our baby down to the NICU and left him. It was one of the hardest things I have done.

We went in a few hours later to check on him. Cache was in a warming bed with a suction tube in his mouth extracting all the bad mucus junk from his stomach, an IV in his hand and was hooked up to 4 different monitors. I was not prepared to see that and burst into tears. To make matters worse, they were withholding food to give his bowels a rest. He went a total of 29 hours without eating. Getting all his nutrition from the IV, but I'm sure was feeling starved.

We checked on him every few hours through out the day. I opted to stay one more night in the hospital so I could be there when the doctor came to check on him. Over the 29 hour period he had multiple stools. Every time we checked on him the nurses informed us of more and more stool.  Which is fantastic. They eventually quit suctioning his stomach and started letting things happen more naturally. 

This morning, (wow was it only this morning?) Scott and I walked down to see how he was doing. They had taken the tube out and turned off the incubator. It was such a great sight I immediately burst into tears again. 

So, here is where we are now. Cache had more X-rays this morning and they all came back normal. The gas has receded from his bowels and with all the stool passing the doctor feels things are looking up.  It seems as though his bowels were very full and it was backing everything else up. We were able to start feeding him again in small doses and we'll up the intake of food slowly as his body learns to handle the food. He'll be able to come home when he is eating well, keeping it down and pooping normally. The doctor said within 2-3 days if everything goes well.

 I nursed him this morning at 11:30 and he finished up with formula. He didn't have any issues with that feeding. At the 2:30 feeding with the nurse, he threw up within 20 minutes. All of it. She said it could have been because she didn't burp him well enough. It was all milk though, with no mucus, so the doctor wasn't worried. I nursed again at 5:30, finishing with formula, and held him upright for a good 30 minutes after he was finished. I burped him multiple times through out the feeding and he was able to keep it all down. I did the same thing at 8:30 and his nurse will take him tonight. I talked to her about making sure he was burped really well and she shifted her feeding schedule with her other patient to give her an extra 30 minutes of Cache time, making sure he was burped and held upright for a little longer. 

He was doing great when we saw him tonight. He ate great, burped lots and was awake and alert. This little guy is so content to just look around and especially loves his daddy's voice and to look at him. I'll go back in the morning to check on him and pray for more progress and good news. 

This has been an awful ordeal, but I keep telling myself it could be so much worse. I feel so torn between my kids at home and Cache in the hospital. The one saving grace has been my mother. She has taken care of my children better than I could have ever imagined. It's allowed Scott and I to focus on Cache and the care that he needs right now. She has completely taken over. She has fed them, dressed them, laid them down for naps, bathed them, played and put them to bed. Shes been a rock star. I honestly do not think we would have made it through the past three days without her. Plus, she is potty training Beckett. He now poops on the potty!! How awesome is she!?

Its been a long 3 days, but I would like to tell everyone thank you for your concern. I have had multiple phone calls, text messages and facebook posts checking on Cache and offering prayers. I appreciate the love and know we are so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people who care for our welling being. 

I will try to update as much as I possibly can. Its going to be a crazy few days trying to be everywhere I need to be and giving myself to all three boys, but I will do my best to keep everyone in the loop.

Thanks again for all your concern and prayers. It really means the world to us.

3 to 4

Today was the last day of my favorite 3 boys.

Tomorrow, I get to meet my 4th.

I can not wait!

Miracles

I think at some point in our lives, everyone hits a low. An unexpected rut. Our outlook becomes skewed and we lose track of the important things. We may not be doing anything necessarily bad, but aren't doing anything good either. We become stagnant. And while these times aren't always detrimental, they can be if we allow them to be. I have been experiencing this type of low the past few months. Nothing serious, but enough for me to notice the unhappiness creeping into my life. The old adage that says if we aren't moving forward then we are surely falling backward rings true. It all started a few months ago with the complications of this pregnancy. It progressively got worse as Scott started his job. And I soon noticed how easy it was to become bitter towards almost every aspect of my life. I will spare you the details as they are rather personal, but I do want to share one thing. 

It is never to late. It is never to late to pick yourself up from the depths of despair and change your attitude to find light in your life. I have known what I have needed to do for weeks, even months. I  knew I needed to pray to strengthen my relationship with Heavenly Father. I knew I needed to read his works. I needed a change of heart and attitude, but the seed of stubbornness was planted deep. I felt justified in my actions and feelings and had no intentions of changing. I wanted my situations to change while I sat in bitterness. 

I have talked to a few family members about this and they encouraged me to allow happiness in my life. They gave me suggestions and helped me open the door for peace in my heart. But this weekend as I listened to conference, it sealed the deal. I am sure the words that were spoken were directed toward me. I heard and learned so much and in the 2 days since the final session--I have done more to improve my life than I have in the past few months.

My scriptures have been opened and read. I've poured out my heart to the Lord telling all my concerns, my worries, my troubles and fears. I have asked for help and forgiveness. I have invited the spirit back into my life and been overwhelmed with the sense of peace and love. All I had to do was ask. 

I have a long way to go. Now, I'm not saying I was going off the deep end. I am still attending church, partaking of the sacrament, fulfilling my callings, etc. But my personal spiritual goals were not being met and it was effecting my life and outlook. As I am bringing back all that is important, I see a change. My bitterness is being replaced with hope and strength. I feel the spirit through out the day. My heart is filling with peace. 

Its amazing what happens when you allow the Lord to bless your life. He is waiting ever so patiently for us to ask. No matter how out of control our lives may feel, he is there waiting to pick up the pieces and put us back together. He loves us. He wants what is best for us. And even through our times of stubbornness--he waits for us. What an amazing blessing. What a miracle. 

Worth It

The trip might not have been worth it...

But then again, seeing our pumpkins on the porch...

it just might have been.