Jack o'lighters

Tayden and Beckett were so excited to carve "jack o'lighters" this year. I'm normally pretty bahumbug about Halloween, but since we're moving, I decided to be fun. First we had pumpkin pancakes with exploding brains and watched a Halloween flick. Then to the pumpkins. I was shocked by how much they hated scooping out the guts. It was way too slimy and stinky for them. I ended up doing all the dirty work. But boy oh boy did they enjoy carving them. Cache could have poked holes in that pumpkin all night. Lighting them was the best, though. They loved putting the fire inside and watching them glow. 

It was such a fun night and possibly the start of new a tradition. 

A little Boy

It's time to come clean. There is another reason I've been so behind at life as of late. It's this little boy. 

Yes, the one in my belly. He has been making me so incredibly tired. So with this pregnancy, the move and all the decisions that have come with it, I've been a bundle of emotions and stress. It's been a long and bumpy road, but I feel extremely blessed to be carrying this baby boy. 

It's no secret that Scott and I were on different pages when it came to having another child. I wanted one more than anything, Scott was convinced we were done. But I always missed this child and knew he was missing. It caused a lot of heartache and pain. We finally came to a mutual agreement that we would let it go for a time and revisit the matter later.  

After months of taking substantial precautions that we wouldn't get pregnant... Let's just say when Heavenly Father wants something to happen, it happens. And much to my surprise, I found out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic but terrified to share the news with Scott. 

I kept the news between my best friend and I. She finally convinced me to tell my husband, so I thought long and hard how to break the news to him. One afternoon as I was getting ready to print my lesson for Gospel Doctorine off lds.org, I noticed a video on the home page. It was titled, "Having Children in Faith." It talked about letting the number of children be decided between you, your spouse and The Lord. I was flabbergasted. This was my perfect segway to tell Scott about the new addition. He came home and I played the video for him. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but his reaction was less than desirable. He commented that he agreed, but we still weren't ready. My heart sunk I and ran for the shower to cry it out before he would notice. He caught on quick and stopped me asking what was wrong. I lost it and sunk to the floor, blurting out, "I'm pregnant! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And being true to the great man he is, he sat on the floor with me and wrapped his arms around me. He told me it was okay and comforted me like only a husband can. It took some time to calm me down, but after he did, we had a good talk and in the end we were both excited to receive this child into our family. 

We know this baby is meant for our family. Beckett has been very intuitive during this whole pregancy. Before we even knew about the baby Beckett made mention about him. As we were sitting down to eat he noticed we had one extra spot. He said, "We have an extra chair. That one must be for our new baby." He has also talked about his new baby brother periodically over the past few weeks, without ever knowing I was pregnant. Today when we went to the ultrasound, the technician asked what the kids thought it was, without skipping a beat and with full assurance declared it was a baby boy. He was right. 

Tayden was a little disappointed it was a boy. He really wanted to have a little sister. But after telling him wrestling matches would be four boys against one dad, he warmed up to the idea. Then after thinking about the lack of princess toys we would have around the house and how he'd get to have 3 brothers to show how to play ball and teach how to do boy things, he was okay. He even has a name for him, Zane. I told him we'd think about it. 

Cache is as excited as he can be. He knows there's a baby like our friends baby, Baby Sam and is excited. But that's about as much as he can wrap his head around. 

We are thrilled to have this baby boy. I know everyone is wondering how I'm doing welcoming another boy instead of a girl. And honestly, I'm thrilled. As soon as I saw that little boy on that screen I felt a strong connection to him. And the prospect of four boys made my heart sing. Yes, there are things I won't get to do. But there are many more I can do. And that is what I choose to focus on. I get to be the mother of four boys. I get to be the loudest mom in the stands. I get to help with boy scouts and watch pinewood derbys. I'll watch them play in the mud, ride four wheelers, climb trees, go hunting and shoot guns. I'll teach them how to treat girls.  I'll have the opportunity to watch them grow into hard working men like their father. I'll watch 8 years of consecutive missions. I watch them marry and have their own kids. I'll be their mom. I'm just so excited and blessed. 

Now, if April 15th would hurry up and get here so I can hold my little boy. 

Golden Rule and Other Good

This week proved to be another busy week, but not without some good.  Three good things that happened this week. 

1- Cache had his two year well check this month. It's a good thing he has such a big personality because he is a little guy. He is 25 lbs and just shy of 3 ft... He actually took a really good jump in height. He went from 6% last check up to 17% at this one. This is the highest he has been since birth and it looks like the doctors were right. He just grows slow and steady. He is right on track for everything else. He is dying to potty train, but I just haven't had the time. He loves to poop on the potty and tells me when he is wet. Now it's just trying to decide when to do it...before or after the move. Either way, we need to do it quick before he loses interest. He is the most social kid I have ever met. He loves to chat with anyone that will listen and rarely cries when I leave him. He marches into nursery like he owns the place and gives kisses when we leave. He loves to draw and is happy with a notebook and pen. He loves monkeys, hot air balloons and pretending to be a monster. He is just the best. 

Waiting for the doctor. 

2- Tayden came home with the "Golden Rule Award". Every quarter a boy and girl from each class get this particular award. It's for helping, being a good example and all around good kid in the class. He is so good at kindergarten. I'm honestly so proud of him. So utterly and completely proud. 

3- We have renters!!! Yay!! We found some people in our ward looking to rent and were able to make them a pretty good deal. They aren't looking to stay in Vegas permanently, so it's possible they could rent our house for 2-3 years, which would be amazing. We feel blessed to know them and share common friends, so we can keep an eye on the house a little easier. It's also nice getting an LDS couple that we trust and know will keep things in order.  We won't have to worry about smoking or pets or neighbors complaining about out of control parties. This is a direct answer from our Heavenly Father confirming to us that we have made the right choice. We are feeling extremely blessed.  

I hope things will slow down this week, now that we have renters. The move is coming up quickly and there is lots to be done, but it will be nice to only have to concentrate on that and not keeping the house spotless at the same time. I'm grateful that in the midst of the chaos we were able to see some positive and good. 

Finally Fun

After a full week of house stuff, packing, decision making, school and keeping up with the daily grind-- the kids were beyond thrilled to have a fun weekend. Tayden had a ball game, both boys went to a birthday party and then we hit the stake fair put on by the church. It was great!! 

Sunday was especially fun because Cache turned two! I absolutely can not believe my baby is two. It's flown by and he is just the best addition to our family. He rules the house. Everyone is constantly saying, "Oh look at Cache. He is so funny/cute/silly". We are all wrapped up in his sweet little personality. He is totally naughty though and frequently gets into things he's not supposed to. Or does naughty things because it makes his brothers laugh. If I tell him no about anything his response is always, "One more" with his little finger stuck up in the air. And I usually always let him. He is beyond ready to potty train, but with all the other chaos I keep pushing it back. He tells me before he poops and likes to go on the potty as much as possible. He has also started telling me pee pee. So I'd better just suck it up and get it done. Still a little guy, he is exploding with personality. He's a chatter box and speaking a lot. We love him so much and are ever grateful for his health and presence in our family. He wanted a monkey cake for his birthday, so that's what he got. We didn't get any pictures of him opening gifts, but rest assured he loved it. 

Grateful for a fun weekend and spending time enjoying life. The move is coming quickly and I'll try to update as much as possible! Yay for finally fun. 

Neglect

Since we received the news we would be moving to Idaho, my life has been a non stop whirl wind. Every spare minute I have goes to advertising the house, packing up boxes, sorting through things we don't need to take and so on and so forth.  To be honest, I'm having a hard time keeping up with everything. Between Korbin, school, speech, t-ball, moving, preschool and day to day life-- I'm drowning. I can get a few things done, but not all of it. And sadly enough, the things that are getting pushed aside are the really important things. My kids. Taydens reading. Becketts Speech. Caches potty training. It's infuriating. 

Today as Scott and I were cleaning the house for an appointment with a realtor, which ended up standing us up, the phrase "Put your house in order" kept playing in my mind. I was doing just that, cleaning up and getting things in order.

Then, I realized. Not that kind of order. Order with family. We pray every night for help to sale the house and I know we need to be consciously making the right decisions to be blessed. I am a firm believer that faith without works is dead. So, I stopped everything I was doing and put my house in order. I got on the floor with my kids and started crafting a turtle box for Taydens sea creatures. I want them to know that no matter what else is going on they are special and important. We cut and glued and had fun until it wasn't. 

I want to sale this house more than anything. I want to go up to Idaho no strings attached and start our life there. But I know, that nothing matters more than my family. Not even selling this house. Because in the end, its my family. Not the house, or cars or anything else. But my family. 

I hope not to neglect this blog anymore than I already have, but if I do, I apologize in advance. Things are only going to get more and more crazy, and as long as I remember to keep things in the right order, I know we will be blessed. 

Busy with Change

As I quickly mentioned in my last post, I have been busy. Like the crazy busy that doesn't stop and  consumes even your sleep. I didn't know I was going to have a busy week, but on Monday we got a phone call that would rock our world.

While in Idaho this summer, my cousin had mentioned to me that the INL was hiring. I passed on the information to Scott and that was that. Well, as weeks went by and we caught wind that his current company might not be renewing their contract with the government, Knowing there was a chance that he could be jobless at the end of September if the contract was in fact not renewed, he kept his eye open for different opportunities here in the valley.  Namely, going back to JT3, which for me would have been awful., Down right, no good, awful. Then, remembering what Kelsey had mentioned about the INL, Scott decided to look it up. Sure enough there was a position that he was qualified for, in fact almost the same job that he does here with DRS, just in Idaho and with a different company. He applied for it.

A few weeks later they called requesting an interview. We were elated. Since we have been married, Scott has never had an interview that he hasn't been offered the job. So I kind of thought he had in the bag from the beginning. However, after having to answer no to some of the qualifications questions of the interview, Scott was less than confident. At that point to not get our hopes up, we kind of wrote it off and started to looking at JT3 if the contract went south.

Well, as I'm sure you have guessed...we got a phone call Monday with a job offer from the INL and the opportunity to head back home. I cried with excitement and an overwhelming sense of pride for Scott. I am just so dang proud of him for getting the offer.

The salary was at our lowest point of acceptability to move. Like the lowest dollar amount possible. And financially, there was so much to consider. Idaho has state taxes, where Nevada does not. The benefits are more expensive in Idaho. We just built a house...less than a dang year ago. And the pay was really not what we were hoping for.

And then emotional side was equally as challenging. We have a good life here. We have friends whom I love. Whom I love as family. They are the closest friends I have ever had in my entire life. The thought of leaving them breaks my heart into a million pieces. Tayden just started kindergarten and playing T-ball. Beckett is in speech and started preschool, Cache loves his nursery and we are in a good groove of life. Emotionally the decision has left me weepy all day every day. This was not a decision that could be taken lightly.

So over the next few days after the offer was extended, Scott and I prayed. We pondered. We talked and communicated. We went individually to the Lord. We wrote pros and cons. We played out different scenarios and situations. We stayed up countless nights trying to figure out what the heck we were going to do. 

As I spoke with one of my dearest friends, Melissa, about the offer and wondering what we should do, she reminded me of a quote from the Relief Society the previous Sunday. 

"“Faith, to be faith, must center around something that is not known. Faith, to be faith, must go beyond that for which there is confirming evidence. Faith, to be faith, must go into the unknown. Faith, to be faith, must walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness. If everything has to be known, if everything has to be explained, if everything has to be certified, then there is no need for faith. Indeed, there is no room for it. …"

Boyd K. Packer

She spoke to my heart. Scott and I had been crunching numbers and worrying about the house. This darn house that we felt so strongly about. The house that was now standing in our way of giving our children the lifestyle we so desperately long for. We needed to know an exact way that this was going to work. All too often we preach about living by faith, but when the moment comes down to do-- I tend to lack the faith necessary. I thought about this quote all week. Scott and I talked it over again and again. We knew what our answer was. And as scary as it seemed, we decided together to take the leap of faith and take the job. 

After we accepted the job, we received mounds and mounds of spiritual confirmation that this is the right road for us. First and foremost, peace. When I think of the move and life in Idaho and I don't feel stressed or concerned. I feel peace. When I think of my kids getting to go pick pumpkins at the local patch this fall, my heart soars. And Thanksgiving with my inlaws, sitting in my spot being surrounded by family. Waking up on Christmas morning with snow. Having space and clean air to breathe. Having room to see the sky. Allowing my husband to go hunting with his dad and soon pass the tradition to his sons. Lunch dates with my mom. Shooting with my dad. Gingerbread houses with my mother in law. Being home when my brother in law comes home. Watching the leaves change colors and witnessing the first snow of the season. Listening to silence. Every single thing I took for granted when I lived there. It all sounds beyond magically. And the peace in my heart is undeniable. 

 Another experience I think of is when I had the opportunity to go to the temple with some of my friends a couple of weeks ago. During the entire sessions my heart kept feeling, "He is in control". At the time I thought it was because of the world turmoil I was worried about it and it brought me peace. As I went to the womens conference last night the messages were about temples. Someone mentioned how the temples are a place of revelation and sometimes we get answers before we know the question. As soon as I heard that I knew my answer had come. He is in control. Trust him. He is aware of not only my family, but me individually. He is in control and it is my job to trust. Fully and in faith. 

One other thing we think about is few days after Scott applied for the job, I had an overwhelming feeling to get pictures taken of the house. Just in case something happened we would be prepared to get a blog up to sell it or rent it. That way we could start getting the word out as soon as possible. So we did, We took the pictures and after the offer was extended I was able to throw together a real quick blog in one night. We have decided to sell the home ourselves and by following this small prompting, we didn't have to waste extras days getting things in order. 

We feel that when Scott took the job at DRS, it was opening a door for the INL. While unknown to us, this job was preparing Scott for Idaho. It is essentially the same work and the three months experience he had at DRS, no matter how small, gave him the upper hand he needed to secure the INL job. Also, had it not been for the chance of non renewal, he probably never would have even looked at the INL website. 

Today as we were getting ready for church, Scott mentioned another reason he felt this was the right choice. A few months ago they released him from his calling in Primary. He waited and waited for a new calling, but it never came. Finally, the bishop called and asked to meet with Scott. The bishop apologized for the delay and asked Scott to go back to his primary class. He explained that there was a stake calling for him that had been approved, but right before it was extended the stake called the bishop and told them they had a change or heart. They didn't feel the timing was right. We feel that was the Lords doing as he knew there were different plans for us.

Non of this has been easy, The stress that comes along with selling a new home is immeasurable. The thought of leaving my friends rips me to pieces. Leaving this place I have learned to call home is going to be hard. But I know we have so many blessings in Idaho in store for us. I know there is a purpose calling us home and  I have faith that everything will work out.  

Still here

A family member asked if I was still here since I haven't blogged in a week!

Yes, still here.

And busier than ever it seems.

But here. 

Promise a new blog post ASAP.

Glad to know you care.