Monday, May 5, 2014

Beckett (Doesn't) Struggle

This post is pretty personal to me. I have had MULTIPLE conversations with a slew of different people over the past few months about this particular topic. This is not about one specific person or conversation, just my general feeling. Very few people read my blog anymore. The only people that read my blog are family and close friends. So chances are if you are reading this, its not about you.

My Beckett. Where do I even start? He is creative. He is funny. He is kind, loving, generous, helpful, and a stinker. He has a speech delay. He is not dumb. He is not stupid. He is 100% aware of his surroundings and he knows he doesn't speak clearly. He knows he goes to speech to help him talk better.

As we have been working on his sounds, I haven't been pushing the other learning as much. I haven't done as many letters, shapes, writing or school work in general as I should. I spend alot of time reading to him and helping him learn his sounds. That is the most important to me. Apparently, some people have no problem labeling Beckett. Apparently, some people think they can tell me how behind he is. And apparently, some people think he will struggle through life because of this one small delay.

Guess what, they are wrong. The past few weeks I noticed how much I have been underestimating Beckett. I was incorrect thinking his little brain couldn't handle sounds, letters, math and everything else at once. He can handle it. More than just handle it, he thrives in it. Today as we were driving to speech he started yelling, "MOM!! MOM!! A 'B' for me! 'B' for Beckett!" He was right. There was a B on a sign, he saw it and it clicked that it was for him. Not a big feat, but considering I have only been helping him identify the letter B for a day or two, I was pretty happy. We have been working on spelling his name. Every time we are in the car, we work on spelling every ones name. Today, on the way home from speech we started spelling names, when he informed me he wanted to do it by himself. He has never even attempted it by himself so I was thinking I'd have to help him through it, but I didn't. He said, clear as day, "BE-CK-ETT." I yelled with joy!

I know I haven't been pushing him as hard as I should. But that should not reflect on him. And it hurts me that because of my lack of faith in his ability, other people think his articulation delay is something more. Something deeper. It's not. I think this is where nature vs. nurture comes in. Yes, Beckett may require more time and effort from me. But if I give it to him, he will succeed. I will not let Beckett struggle because of me. I will not. Nor will I ever give up on him because of unkind words from strangers. He is three. You can not predict the outcome of a child who is three.

He had an amazing session at speech today. Brandon, his speech therapist, moved. So today he saw someone new. I was worried he wouldn't respond to her as well or would throw a Beckett size tantrum. He didn't. In fact, he really liked her and she had alot of good ideas for him. We have a new goal in place to put the end sound on each word. So haT, instead of ha. Or naP, instead of na. He did wonderful. Watching him succeed today in speech, finding his first B and spelling his name-- I vowed I would not hold him back any longer. I will work harder to help him academically. I will push him so he can reach his full potential. I will work day in and day out with my son to prove to everyone what a smart boy he is. There is a reason he didn't qualify for preschool with the school district. He was too smart.

This articulation delay does not define him. It does not tell of his future struggles. And it will not hold him back. I refuse to let him be any less than the potential that our Heavenly Father gave him. I am proud to be his mom and love him so incredibly much. I will not let anyone speak ill of my child to me or try to shake me with their negativity. I will stand up for him and be his advocate. And more than anything, I will never ever ever give up on him.


Collin, Traci, Cam, and Alyssa said...

You're an amazing mom! Way to love and stick up for your boy. I have a confession...Cameron learned to spell his name in Kindergarten. For reals. That's the kind of mom I am :)

amanda said...

Catchin' up on my blog reading...Im sorry you have to deal with such judgy people! I cant believe people would be so bold to label him as anything other than adorable. You know I love me some redheads;)
And I agree with Traci completely, you are a fantastic mom! You make sure they have a firm foundation and a testimony and that's what's really important. Everything else will come. Seriously, they learn sooo much in kindergarten. So don't worry and give yourself a break from all that pressure. You're not super woman! And your boys are just perfect:)

Cami said...

Honestly, who's to say what you "should" be teaching your kids or how much time you "should" be teaching? Always remember, you are the perfect mother for your child. He was given to you because the Lord knew his potential, and He knew you would help him reach it. So cut yourself a break. You're doing great! All they really need is love, anyway. :)

Erin_C said...

I agree with all of the above. Just thought I'd throw that out there. I can't imagine why anyone would say anything ever, but Beckett is obviously an awesome kid and he has an awesome mother.

Maren Nelson said...

You are that child's mother, not those other people. You know what is best for him. Although it's easier said than done, don't let other people discourage you. Bully's never go away, no matter what age a person is. You are a fantastic mother to your boys! I'm sorry you have to go through this, as well as Beckett. Subjecting a child to adult bullying is so wrong. Whoever would say hurtful things about a child, and to the child's mother no less, should be ashamed of themselves.