Thursday, September 2, 2010

Pregnancy Ramblings

Remember back in jr. high/high school when your English teacher assigned you to free write? To basically write what you are thoughts as they come, no punctuation, no order, no structure. That is what this post is going to be... so I will not be offended if you choose not to read. For those of you that you do, enjoy a peak into my chaotic thoughts.

Pregnancy. Oh, sweet pregnancy. To tell you the truth, I am struggling with this go around. I am struggling with the hormones, with the zits, with the weight. Especially with the weight. I know that its my second pregnancy and I am supposed to show sooner, get bigger, blah blah blah. But lets be honest, it doesn't make it any easier. I feel huge 100% of the time. I feel like I look like I am 7 months pregnant not 4 1/2. However, with that said, let me tell you what I know. I know I FEEL huge, but I know more than anything how blessed I am. I know this feeling won't last forever, but our sweet little baby will. Stephnie Nielson from the NieNie Dialogues said, "I am not my body". How true is that. I am so much more. I am determined to not let my body get in my way of enjoying every minute of this miracle. I love being pregnant. I love feeling the baby move. I lay in bed at night, when s/he is most active...and fall in love again and again. I love dreaming about my sweet little baby and thinking of s/he growing up so close with Tayden. I love how my perspective turns eternal. How the important things change and I see life for what it really is. I love how Scott prays for the baby every night. Speaking of Scott, have I mentioned how great he is? He is the greatest thing in my life. Truly, my best friend. I didn't think I would ever love him more than I did when we were first married. But it grows everyday. It is a deep, pure love. I can't wait to share all the adventures life has with him. One adventure being raising two kids. Wow, that sounds weird. I can't believe I am going to have two kids. Weird. I love being a mom. Its hard. It can being really trying. But oh so rewarding. I'm more nervous to raise a two year old than to have a new born again. We get to find out what we are having on Wednesday. I can't wait. Scott and I are thinking girl, but would be extremely happy with a little boy. It would be easier to have a boy since we already have everything we need. But a little girl...ah, I would love a little girl. We will see what the Lord has in store for us. And I can't wait to see what the plan is. We officially listed the home with a realtor on Monday. It showed yesterday, which is awesome, but the couple was looking for a rental property and apparently ours was too nice. I guess they want to rent out a semi crappy place. Huh? But, it sounds like we are going to be showing it to another couple next week, so we will see how it goes. Then there is school. We only have a few more months to make it. Scott is taking 19 credits! We are jobless once again and living on savings. How blessed we are to have it. And how much more blessed are we that it has lasted so long. I can't wait to see where life is going to take us when he graduates. Another thing I know, no matter what happens, with the baby, the house, the job, our life it general, whatever....will all be perfect because its the Lords plan. And because it is his plan, makes it perfect. I am a firm believer that the Lord is on our side and going to lead us in the right direction. Our job is to have faith. My sister-in-laws dad gave her some advice that I think is spot on. He said life is like riding a tandem bike. The Lord is in the front seat steering and our job is to take the back seat and pedal. We have to have the faith that he is taking us in the right direction we have to do the work he is asking us to do. Life can sure be crazy, but I so happy with where we are. Well, that's it. Looks like my thoughts have run out. Hopefully, I have something fun to blog about in the next few days. If not, Wednesday I will have some good news to share with everyone. Stay tuned.





7 comments:

The Armstrong Family said...

Just so you know, I just saw you not even two weeks ago at church and I can't even believe you are almost 5 months pregnant! You are tiny so don't let yourself think that you are big. Hope things are going well, Take care!

Erin_C said...

you make me missing being pregnant . . . but not a lot :) Can't wait to hear what you are having!

Melissa said...

I love that analogy about the tandem bike. Such a good perspective! And I can't wait to find out what you're having. This is exciting stuff!

Lindsey Rasmussen said...

I agree with Heidi! I saw you today and honestly you can't tell you're pregnant. Take that as a compliment and dont worry about the weight. It will come off just like it did with Tayden. I am so excited for you to find out what you're having! I vote boy!! Either way s/he will be adorable. Two kids is kinda crazy, but it is so fun seeing the boys interact with each other. It will be a blast for you guys!! wow.. this is a novel! That's all... have a good weekend!!

Tobin & Whitney said...

Yes, the joys of pregnancy! I am feeling very similar right now... Thank you for this post though!! It made me take a new perspective. You are always so positive and I appreciate it. How awesome would it be to both have little girls :) Can't wait to hear from you, and Sarah!

Echo said...

Thanks for making me baby hungry! Oh I miss feeling the baby. That was always my favorite, you feel so connected. A feeling that no one can ever take away from you. Oh... Babies babies babies. I want one! So jealous! Call me as soon as you find out! Promise? love ya

Echo said...

Thanks for making me baby hungry! Oh I miss feeling the baby. That was always my favorite, you feel so connected. A feeling that no one can ever take away from you. Oh... Babies babies babies. I want one! So jealous! Call me as soon as you find out! Promise? love ya